Today I made an obvious yet also mostly unrealized discovery about myself: I’m an antsy creative on the inside, and a barely-surviving-life cubicle dweller on the outside.

This is the internal struggle of my life. Every battle in my head begins and ends with these questions:

What have I done today to:

  • make my world beautiful?
  • feed my soul?
  • take care of the artist within?

Too many times the answer is Nothing or Not enough, and it shows up as body aches and listlessness. Resentment builds and that’s what I want most to avoid. Resentment is not a good look for me and I definitely don’t like how it feels.

I’ve also identified that puttering around my apartment is part of my creative process. There must be some science behind the act of puttering but all I know is it keeps my mind sharper than when I’m not fluttering around. Puttering is a family trait I inherited or learned from both of my parents. Mom puttered and cleaned house. Dad tinkered and built things. My paternal grandmother did both, and she did it all while whistling or humming which I also do.

If I can’t be creative, I’m like a flower that needs the sun but has to spend more and more time in the shadows and so the best of me wilts and withers. And because I know I’m made to be bright and lively, this lack of light affects me in the worst way: I feel neglected. Not by anyone else either, but by me. I am both the betrayer and the betrayed. I’ve been in a neglectful relationship before and it nearly killed me. How can I allow myself to treat myself that way? I can’t! It simply won’t do!

I know I’m not alone in this struggle of needing to be creative while also living life and that many times those are at odds with each other. Even as we are carving out a place for our innately creative selves how do we explain our need to those who aren’t of a similar mind? This might be a question for another day.

The Writer’s Block was envisioned to bring like-minded artists together on our journeys. To make a way for our non bottom line side to have a place in the sun. I hope you’ll make a place here for yourself to share in the collective creative universe.

I now pose these questions to the reader as a fellow artist and creative soul:

What have you done today to:

  • make your world beautiful?
  • feed your soul?
  • take care of the artist within?
Advertisements